Losowe angielskie dowcipy
Helen Keller ->
How Did Helen Keller's mother punish her when she was bad? She moved the furniture around.... [ca造 ->]
Blonde Joke plus... ->
Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop. When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver: "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?" The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm sorry." Hearing th... [ca造 ->]
For Chocolate Lovers ->
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate hom... [ca造 ->]
Rejected Public Holidays ->
Top 12 Rejected Public Holidays 12 Start of Christmas Season Day 11 False Labor Day 10 Make a Move on Your Secretary Day 9 Hallmark Card Day 8 Bring Your Handgun to Work Day 7 Newtsmas 6 Deadbeat Father's Day 5 Bad Hair Day 4 Put Your... [ca造 ->]
Little Bastard ->
Guy walks into the bar, goes up to the bartender. Reaching into his pants pocket, we pulls out a hundred dollar bill. "Set up everybody in the place!" he shouts. The bartender obliges. Suddenly, a little man jumps out of the guy's pocket, runs do... [ca造 ->]
Child of the 80's (super long) ->
You might be a child of the 80's if... ... you have deep, personal relationships via computer with people you've never met in real life. ... the phrase "going courting", to you, means fighting an unjust traffic ticket or playing tennis. ... ... [ca造 ->]
Wooden Leg ->
Harry was delighted when he found a young woman who accepted his proposal of marriage as he was sensitive about his wooden leg and a bit afraid no one would have him. In fact, he couldn`t bring himself to tell his fiancee` about his leg when he slipp... [ca造 ->]
Women's/Men's English ->
Women's English: Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I'm sorry = You'll be sorry We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. We need to talk = I need to compl... [ca造 ->]
Different Treatment ->
A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his local doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies that the illness is quite serious but can be cured with a small course of two suppositories inserted deep up the back passage. The man agrees,... [ca造 ->]
Cork it! ->
There were two teenagers and they just got thru playing basketball. So they went to the showerhouse. They were in the showerhouse and the first teenager noticed a cork up the other teenagers butt. So when they got out of the showerhouse, the firs... [ca造 ->]
Knit to Fit ->
An old lady was knitting as she was driving down the highway. A police officer drove alongside her car and yelled, "Pull over!" The lady yelled back, "No - mittens!"... [ca造 ->]
Ways to tell someone their fly is open ->
20. The cucumber has left the salad. 19. I can see the gun of Navarone. 18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. 17. You've got Windows on your laptop. 16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave. 15. Your sol... [ca造 ->]
Cool Bumper Stickers! ->
1) God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier. 2) I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit. 3) I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way. 4) Keep honking while I reload. 5) Taxation WITH representation isn't so... [ca造 ->]
Classified Ad Bloopers! ->
The following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers: Free Yorkshire Terrior. 8 years-old. Hateful little dog. ---------------------------------- Free Puppies: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel 1/2 Sneaky Neighbor's Dog ---------------------... [ca造 ->]
MAFIA Valetine Card Verses ->
My love for you... it came and went. So your feet are now in wet cement. I'm here To fulfill your fondest wishes Now that your husband sleeps with the fishes. Lie down with me -- it's my final offa, Or you'll be lying wit' Jimmy Hoffa. I... [ca造 ->]